I have been lucky enough to have collared several women — and barring being hit by a bus, I intend to collar some more. There’s almost nothing as arousing to me as seeing my slave wearing my collar and believe me, at is almost entirely a mental thing. I currently have a slave who wears her collar 24/7 and will continue to do so until I acquire the ultimate collar for her (see the link below.)

You see, in BDSM, a collar is far more than a necklace. It’s meaning is highly symbolic and depending on the circumstances can have essentially the same significance as a wedding ring. In other cases, it is taken off when playtime is done.

In practical terms, a collar is a simple neck band — very much like the collar that  a dog wears.

It can be made of anything, but usually collars are made of leather, metal or rubber.  When a collar has a ring on it, the collar becomes a clear indicator that the wearer is a submissive (or at least a switch.)  Collar can also be worn by the Dominant partner, although these are usually worn as jewelry or accents and do not have a ring on it.

You may be wondering why the ring on a collar is given such weight in meaning: this stems from a practical use where the ring (often a D-ring) is used to tie the neck of the submissive to either a fixed object or another body part.  D-rings are also frequently used to attach a leash in order to lead the slave around in a form of humiliation play. As far as being humiliated or tied to object goes, this is obviously the role of the submissive and so collars are generally worn by the sub.

Don’t underestimate the value of a collar in restraint either.  Keep in mind that our necks are a very vulnerable part of our bodies and we
are instinctively protective of it. Too much force on the neck can cut of blood to the brain, oxygen to the lungs, and nourishment to the stomach. All the essentials for life. So restraining a person by the neck means they are forced to favour the restraint so their neck is not compromised.  Additionally, by binding the neck, movement of the head is restricted as is the slave’s ability to see around them.  All of these neck restrictions can be accomplished fairly safely through the use of a collar and NOT by tying rope around a person’s neck.  Any resistance the slave offers will quickly lead to them gasping for breath until they lose the will to resist.

I do think it’s worth noting that I’ve been fooled into thinking a cute punk girl was into BDSM because she was wearing a collar with a D-ring on it.  This sadly, is not always the case. In the Punk and Goth scenes collars are often worn strictly for fashion.

A Posture Collar

As I said earlier, collars are sometimes seen as a BDSM type of replacement for a wedding ring and are a symbol of commitment. Many Tops choose, design or even craft the perfect collar for their bottom.  Others even wear bracelets or rings with a subtle d-ring on it as a symbolic collar in vanilla situations.  When a Dominant chooses a collar for his sub and places it on her, it is known as ‘collaring.’  When a sub is owned by a Domme, one would say that the sub is ‘collared” and, if the couple is not poly, then he would be unavailable (as in taken, not single, and he may even have to adjust his relationship status on Facebook, with her permission of course.)


Many subs have a variety of collars that they can wear at different occasions.  Fancy collars may be made of fine metals and even have jewels laid in them for formal occasions. Others like to wear rubber collars for watersports or simply to match a latex outfit. And leather collars are a great reminder that a slave is more of an animal and not at the same level as their Master.



I prefer an all metal collar because metal collars are extremely durable and can be worn 24/7 during everyday activities like showering or exercise without mishap.  Leather collars do fare as well when they get wet regularly and can start to smell.  Rubber collars overheat like crazy during strenuous exercise and can easily cause a rash with extended wear.

For a metal collar, it should be made entirely of stainless steel or titanium. Both metals are very strong and do not rust or corrode (a rusty collar part is a terrible thing and will also start to stain clothing.)  These metals also do not smell like some metals; especially when in constant contact with skin.  Gold and silver are generally too soft and can deform or break when put under too much stress during a bondage scene. If you do fancy a gold collar, 18k gold is by far the strongest – especially if it is white gold strengthened with nickel.
My absolute favorite collar that I’ve seen so far was one worn by a pretty Asian  bondage model that I am friends with. It is titanium and so very light (half the weight of steel) and extremely strong.  It is made by Axsmar and you can see it here.   It’s an extremely beautiful piece with a hidden, interior hex locking bolt that doesn’t interrupt it’s neck matching lines and has a removable sliding ring so it doubles a vanilla necklace. The main drawback is it cost about $850.

Finally, the ultimate use for a collar is to bind several slaves together by the neck. This practice forces the slaves to move as a single unit and has the psychological effect of removing one’s individuality.  Slaves are often tugging on each other and conscious of the slightest movements of their co-enslaved chain-mates.  They must move as a unit, getting up, sitting down and move in cinch when walking. All of this is a constant reminder of their position: as any collar should be.

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