Getting a slave into the right head space is extremely important because it has a huge effect on their physiological response — it is the difference between her getting wet and her being turned off. Personally, I make it my business to do all I can to have turned on all the time (and unless you are a bit of a sociopath…this should be hugely important to you too.)
One of the easiest ways to shock her and turn her off is by starting off with hitting her hard with a cane. She’s just not ready for it yet: she’s not warmed up. So instead of being primed for the pain and the endorphin producing parts of her brain in high gear…she just shocked and it hurts and stings and sucks for her. But that exact same hit when she’s warmed up will be delightful to her and send her into subspace. ets
HOW IT WORKS
Let’s look at why this works. By starting slow and gradually working your way up to more painful activities you give her a chance to both mentally and physically prepare for it. Mentally, she may be coming back from works or school and be stressed and her mind is on mundane daily activities. So if you warm her up slowly, you give her a chance to mentally adjust to the scene and also to start to anticipate more.
Her anticipation is key. I think of it as teasing. You know she wants more but you’re not ready yet and she has to deal with your pace and needs. Soon she is begging in her mind for more and more…so when you up the ante– she has a sense of release. Hint and threaten her first.
Also, some light flogging and easy play lets her easily slip into her slave role…reminding her of who she really is. If you come at her like a freight train…and she’s stressed and emotionally weak she may interpret it as abuse and instead of being fun, it is traumatizing. So give her a chance to let go of her daily baggage and become yours.
She also needs some time physically to warm up to higher levels of pain. Light flogging causes blood to start flowing to her skin, and also gives the nerves a new and higher baseline that you can gradually move upwards. Think of her like an athlete who doesn’t just jump into the most strenuous activity but stretches and warms up first so they are ready for the more difficult activity.
At the same time, her brain starts to pump out endorphin in response to the pain stimulus. This has morphine like drug effects on her and is the thing that helps her convert the signal of ‘pain’ into an interpretation of ‘pleasure’. But the pharmacy in the brain takes a little bit to get warmed up and start pumping out the good chemicals in volume…so give it a heads up as to what is coming so when you hit her with the cane, she drops a ton of brain candy and goes into ga ga land.
Warming up is quite simple…just look at whatever it is you are wanting to do and think about it on a scale of 1 to 10. If you plan on flogging the daylights out of her..taking her to a 10 at your roughest….well, from there start a 1 and start moving up slowly. She’ll love the anticipation and building of suspense.
If you are biting, I find really long, slow, lingering bites that get harder and harder as time progresses is the way to go. But still, you can start really low on the scale and go up to a 6. Then bite again…but move slowly from a 1 to a 7 this time. Then move up again…starting at a 3 and going up to 8 and so on.
If you a making her gag on a dildo…give a hint about it first and then gradually up the ante.
Using hot wax? Start from a high height and less sensitive area and gradually lower the candle closer to the target while selecting more sensitive targets.
This works for all sorts of activities…just think about where you are going and dial it back — remember, in BDSM, it’s all about the journey and not just making it to the destination. Warming up also applies to changing activities or parts of the body you are working on. If you are paddling the hell out of her ass after warming her up sufficiently…you can start a lot harder on her nipples but going straight to a 10 on her nipples won’t be nearly as effective as starting at a 6 and going up from there.
Finally, warming her up gives her time to become sexually aroused. A turned on girl…will enjoy FAR FAR MORE! If she’s horny and near cumming…all the better! A girl who is highly sexually aroused can endure massive amounts of pain and it will feel pleasurable…where a girl who is not horny at all will just perceive pain.
Subs can react far different than you might anticipate or how previous subs have acted with you…so a warm up acts as a testing of the waters to make sure she’s cool with whatever you have planned. I’ve seen a slave’s ass go deep purple over a huge hand-span-sized area at a hit that would have made my previous sub go slightly red.
Because people react differently to different things: a warm up can save you a lot of both emotional and physical distress.