Best Man

A very good friend asked me to be his best man today.

I replied, “It depends…open bar?”


Now I have to figure out a way to make his bachelor party legend-wait for it-dary.

I remember way back taking him to his first fetish party and him looking around and saying, “I have no idea how to interact with these girls. It’s like the rules are completely different from a standard bar.”

And yes, they are. Fetish parties tend to have a completely different set of social rules and newbies
are at a loss: a fav was seeing a douche* running around slapping a girls ass from behind and when several turned on him at once he says, “What? She likes it.”

*Ashlie just informed me that douche has an ‘e’ at the end because it’s a French word. She also informs me that according to the urban dictionary, a douche is defines as: 1)

a word to describe an individual who has shown themselves to be very brainless in one way or another, thus comparing them to the cleansing product for vaginas.  2) George W. Bush 3) An obnoxious bastard who mooches off of family and friends and is a complete and total ass to everyone.

But he’s marrying a girl who isn’t kinky…which is a giant mistake in my own personal opinion as why would you want to marry a girl who isn’t a total pervert??   He answered, “Love. And to have a family!”

I thought about it and while I respect the notion, personally I prefer to have a family of wayward sluts.
So now I have to delve into the vanilla part of my mind to create the most awesome I can….without making him run from the marriage.

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