Swinging

 
Best Case
A lot of people have mentioned swinging as very similar to both BDSM
and poly relationships and assume that if you do these things, you
also swing.  While it’s true that some swingers do practice BDSM, I
am certainly not a swinger.  Swinging is the sexual practice of
swapping partners for sexual gratification– but a key difference
between poly and swinging is relationships and feelings.  I may come
down as slightly hard on swingers in this post, which is not my
intention: I’m just trying to point out the differences which make
up the spice of life.I’ve done several posts on Polyamory which also involves (usually)
several sexual partners. However, poly people can form triads,
groups and networks where the partners have sex with the same people
over and over — because they care about them.  Swingers, on the
other hand, tend to dislike the forming of any emotional
connection with the people they are having sex with.  In fact, I’ve
talked to swingers who feel that their partner having sex with
someone else is fine, but loving someone else is cheating.  So there
is a form of emotional monogamy with swingers who tend to separate
the sex act from any form of emotion or real connection.

I have to say, separating sex from love seems utterly wrong to me
(as a personal choice) and if I am having sex with someone, it
either means I care about them or someone I care for deeply really
digs them. If I don’t care for the person at all and just think they
are hot…I don’t tend to fuck them! (Note: I have frequently had
the thought that a rather dull girl should be shut up by me putting
my dick in her mouth…but the reality is far worse than the fantasy
of making her stop talking to me.

I am going to make a sweeping statement here — totally unfair and
biased — but every swinger I have

More likely case

met has been a slightly
unfortunate looking older suburban dweller. I have received invites
to go back to some place for a ‘swinging party’ on a number of
occasions and have always politely declines.  Not that I haven’t
gone out partying and ended up in group sex afterwards…but never
under the guise of not having a real connection with the people and
just to bump uglies.

I have talked to Swingers too and their concerns about NOT switching
partners often enough and starting to develop feelings for a certain
person.  So it seemed that goal was to be as promiscuous as possible
for the fun of enjoying sex with lots of people.  This is all well
and good, but I don’t measure my successes from the number of
notches on my belt but from how well I have loved.  Hell, I have
loved some people deeply and never had sex with them (which is kinda
sad, to be honest, as she was very monogamous and I am…not.)

So while swinging is a fine practice for some people, it most
definitely is not for me. I feel kinda ooogy thinking about just
shagging random girls and forgetting them…so while I most
certainly am poly-by-nature I am not at all a swinger and have yet
to meet any swingers that really resonated with me.

2 Comments

  1. Pilot&Slut March 30, 2016
  2. Pilot&Slut March 30, 2016

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