Hitachi Renames Magic Wand!

hitachi-wandThis post is important as a lot of people will be looking for the Hitachi Magic Wand and might not find it or the orgasms it will deliver. And since I’m all about ensuring all orgasms are enjoyed: listen up.   Hitachi is renaming the Hitachi Magic Wand!  It shall henceforth be known as “The Original Magic Wand”.  This works just fine for me because I’ve been calling it the magic wand for over 10 years now. Why? Because it’s fucking magic!

If you’re not familiar the magic wand: GET EDUCATED (and get one for fucks sakes!) Hint: It’s an ultrapowerful plug in vibrator that will bully your other sex toys for their lunch money if you keep in the same drawer.

But Hitachi is apparently not very proud of inventing the best sex toy on the
market (WAIT! There is the Sybian, of course.)  Ok, Hitachi invented the best sex toy per dollar, on the market. Did I mention that Hitachi makes it? The manufacturer is Hitachi.  That’s why lots of people call it the Hitachi.


That’s a real smile on her face.

But nooooooooooooo! Hitachi wants to be known for making all sorts of other consumer products like air conditioners, refrigerators, LCD projectors, power tools,  televisions, and washing machines. But did you know they also make mining dump trucks, wires, steel, hydraulic cranes, trains, elevators, ATMs and nuclear power plants. They even make these bad boys for the military:

Please don’t mock us for riding a sex toy!So apparently these misguided souls think all of the aforementioned products are diminished by being known for making the best goddamn sex toy on the market.   Personally I think, “Well, if they can make the magic wand, I’ll by a reciprocating saw from them too!”

Note: Please lord, let someone get that last joke.


So the Hitachi Magic Wand will disappear. The makers of “The


Get one.

Rabbit” vibrator Vibratex, got wind of Hitachi killing production and made the mind-blowingly-obvious-call of getting Hitachi to keep making the magic wand for them.  (Two notes on that: 1) you should also own a rabbit 2) I am sooo jealous I didn’t hear about this before the Vibratex CEO.).  So Vibratex is now the main distributor and I’m presuming is making a butt load of guaranteed cash every year until Armageddon.

But the good news is: masturbation (and especially forced masturbation) is safe. You won’t have to worry about your rabbit’s batteries dying while you try to force her to have one more orgasm. No, she’ll cum until you say stop or there’s a blackout. For more likely is she will black out from cumming too hard.
More of my posts on the HITACHI magic wand below:

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