Top 10 WAYS for a DOM to Deal with a Depressed Sub

Ok, now what does a Master do when dealing with a rope-in-a-heartsub/slave suffering from depression?  Well, a subbie that is feeling down needs help. And depressed people often don’t take the steps needed to get them out of their funk.  So show her some love…from an BDSM perspective.
So this is where you, as a Dom who isn’t all depressed can see the light and essentially force her to change her state:

Top 10 WAYS for a DOM to Deal with a Depressed Sub

1) Don’t demand miraculous changes. Remember that being depressed makes it hard to do shit. So…baby steps….You can make guide her to take on a few small tasks at a time. But make sure she’s dealing with stuff or the volume of stuff to do will overwhelm her.
2) Guide her to keep her place clean.  Make it fun…use french maid outfits or a nude

maid…but ensure her place doesn’t fall into disgusting disarray that will compound with her mental state and add to feelings of being overwhelmed.

3) If she’s deeply depressed…name it. Winston Churchill named his depression his “Black Dog”  (Dexter named his tendencies his ‘Dark Passenger’) and this disassociates the depressed state with ‘her’ and makes it an external thing.  It’s the difference between noting they you are feeling really tired and DEFINING yourself as someone who is always exhausted. It makes it easier to talk about and Dom.


Her (with a generalized statement about herself)
“I can’t do anything right.”
Dom (specific and dissociates the behavior from her mental picture of herself)
“Lol. Little girl, your black dog made it difficult to do that. But I’ve seen you do that easily.”


4) Fitness is a huge help! Make her exercise damnit! She’ll hate it but exercise releases all sorts


of stress, boosts the immune system and gives her energy.  She won’t want to…but it’s not up to  her…Mr. Dom/Persona Trainer.



5) Oversee her diet.  Ensure she’s eating properly (no depressing junk burgers feeding her lethargy).  Fresh fruits and vegetables are not depressing foods…so make her eat those!
6) Encourage her to be social.  Take her out places. No sitting for days in a dark cave feeling like the rest of the world is passing you by.  eg. Take her to a fetish party to socialize.


7) Make sure her sleep schedule stays on track.  Depressed people can sleep all day and be up all night…adding to the self-reinforcing cycle.  Don’t stand for any such shenanigans.


8) Oversee her grooming (on the pretense that it is for you.)  Spa days are great too.  Make her put on a clay mask (if you have no idea what I’m talking about…send her to the pharmacy or the Body Shop to go pick up a clay mask for her face. She’ll know what to get.)  Make her soak in a bath and soap her up. Then shave her lady bits so she feels feminine.  Wash and condition her hair. Moisturize her body afterwards and put special creams on her face. If you like perfume…make her smell nice too.  Then pick out an outfit for her to wear.


9) Tackle a negative mindset! This HUGE!  Her thoughts are soooo important. So be a
tyrant against any negative thoughts.  If she has negative friends that feed a negative mindset…don’t allow them over right now.  Surround her with positive people and/or positive media (movies and tv) wherever possible.


10) Posture is king. Posture has a huge impact on the stress chemicals in your body.  Great posture and the ‘wonderwoman’ stance is amazing at turning around her mental state. Also the ‘victory’ position with arms extended overhead in a ‘V’ is the best. See this TedTalks for more info.


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