Sex and the Law: Prostitution

street-propositionThis is a series of controversial topics involving sex and the law.  This one is on sexual harassment and unwanted contact. This series may challenge your system of values. If you disagree with me…let me know why and tell me if there is something I completely missed — maybe I’ll reverse my opinion when this new bit of insight comes to light.

Also note: I am (usually) arguing from the perspective of devil’s advocate. I recognize that the things I am saying challenge societal norms and I because I am putting the ideas forward does not mean I practice nor wish to practice the things discussed.  So if I argue in favor of bestiality, don’t take it as me expressing an urge to sex with goats: I’m just making you think.


So let’s talk about the world’s oldest trade, thin-prostituteprostitution. It’s known as the worlds oldest profession…so why the fuck is it not legal and accepted? As the immortal George Carlin put it:I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. So why isn’t it legal to sell fucking??!? 

Note: For the purposes of this article, let’s assume that prostitution means consenting adults and not sex slaves, child whores and heavily abused women under dominant pimps.

As far as I can tell, prostitution is a fair and victim-less exchange between consenting adults and as such, the moral-powers-that-be have no right in restricting it. [Full disclosure here: Why I have been offered services a fair number of times — I have never once elected to employ a whore as I feel that sex should be free and given often (it seems so stingy to charge!)  Since there is no victim (or at least, there wouldn’t be victims if it was a decriminalized activity) then the only thing the laws do is then…victimize the whores and the Johns. So…why waste my tax dollars doing that? It’s not like either are motivated to stop. Being the ‘oldest profession’ it’s got a long track record of staying power…so why bother?

I’m from Canada — a place where prostitution is legal. It doesn’t violate any of our charter of rights and it would be unconstitutional to ban it — so they just banned everything to do with it. Discussing exchanges of money are illegal??? Seriously? And don’t do it in a ‘common bawdy house’ because law-abiding citizens would never, ever have sex indoors. (How is did having sex indoors become the definition of a bawdy house??) Don’t advertise nor solicit customers in public…the list goes on and on. And so who gets screwed? The whores.

hooker-with-umbrellaAnd let’s face it…a lot of girls aren’t hooking because they have a lot of options. Yeah, so let’s beat them while they are down — and give them a criminal record at the same time! That’ll be sure to help everything. Fuck, I hate our so-call-Justice-System.

Now let’s look at some of the options. You can decriminalize the activity…and that is probably the best option. Just don’t make it illegal to buy and sell the services that you desire. It gets rid of a whole bunch of crap and doesn’t take years to do either.

Or you can legalize it — something I’ve seen argued


This hooker looks a LOT like Amanda Sayfried


as a great way to earn extra tax dollars. Well, while I appreciate the possibilities of making a safer work environment for sex worker (and really, that’s what we should call them, btw) as mandatory testing could be enforced and also systems put in place to protect women from abusive scumbags. But places like that have legalized (namely Nevada and Amsterdam) have extremely high licensing fees for both the workers and the location where they ply their trade. So in Nevada, sex workers can’t afford the licenses to open a location and are forced to work for the people that can — and give them a significant cut. That seems like bullshit to me. Also, in order to keep your license in Nevada, you have to get monthly STI checks –which is all well and good…but why the fuck don’t they test the clients too? It’s like the sex worker assumes all the risk and gets none of the protection. Again, bullshit. And it perpetuates the mindset that sex workers are dirty and spreading disease — and did anyone bother to ask the sex workers what they would want out of legalization? I bet they’ve all thought about it and have a mountain of great ideas.

And I guarantee you that paying some man a cut of their money for paying the license fee IS NOT

on their list. Just let them run their own business. I bet they work together with some kind of co-op where they share expenses — and perhaps hire some muscle as a bouncer because… they can.street-walking-prostitutes-hot They’d probably say that condoms are legally required. Hell, I bet they would even go for a law where they have to shag indoors and not some nasty back alley. If they were caught fucking outside, the ‘client’ would be the one at fault for not providing her with proper room to fuck in.

Prostitutes would figure this decriminalized shit out fast too: To open a brothel, let’s say it’s a co-op without a manager, it’s split equally – you’re not required to get a license. It’s just a regular business and it’s set up like any other. The cost is relative, it’s not like a hundred times more than any other operating license. In those locations, sex workers can work by themselves or with other people, there are no forced health checks, but there is a condom law. Condoms are required all the time. And there’s a health and safety inspection, as would be done in any other business where blood and bodily fluids are present. And it’s not done in a stigmatizing way. What decriminalization does differently is it allows sex work to be viewed as a legitimate job, and it takes its cues from sex workers.

Right now in Canada, there is a completely fucked up law saying that it’s illegal to live off of (wholly or in part) the avails of prostitution… meaning it’s illegal to provide legal services to a prostitute because she’s paying you with money she legally earned? (Maybe a judge can explain that nonsense but I doubt it.) It’s technically illegal for an accountant to work for a prostitute to help her keep track of her books. (Yes, I’m serious.) In fact, if she pays anyone, that makes them a criminal does it not? The hairdresser who does her hair is definitely out.  Never mind paying a driver or someone to help keep her safe — because those are definitely going to help keep her safe in the workplace.

What I would like to see is a shift away from making sexprostitute-demotivational work a shameful ‘secret’ to something a smart girl can do to make some money safely if she so chooses. Of course, I do have an issue with commodifying sex — as that makes sweet girls less likely to give it out as it now has some sort of ‘value’ — I’d really prefer to have everyone fucking much more often. But right now, a prostitute “can’t” report crimes against her (anything from being ripped off to beaten) because of the stigmatization and worse, potential victimization by police.) And that’s way worse to me.

Speaking of the police, the University of Chicago did a study and I was utterly disgusted by the results. Far from serving and protecting, for every 30 tricks, a prostitute has to give a cop a freebie to avoid arrest. FUCK THAT. Seriously. Another study says that a prostitute gets taken into custody once every 450 tricks…meaning a prostitute is 15 TIMES more likely to fuck an on-duty cop than to be arrested by one.

And lets be honest here…how many cops will actually get in trouble for fucking a whore if they did get caught by their buddies?

Oh wait, let’s talk about Hawaii where it’s actually


You didn’t expect me to do cops and hookers
and NOT use TJ Hooker.

LEGAL for vice cops to fuck a girl before
arresting her –to prove the case. See, prostitutes were doing things to avoid arrest (called a ‘cop check’) and some fuck-tard decided that easiest way to avoid that (and get laid at the same time!!!) was to fuck the whores!  Best of all, they don’t even pay the girls!! Wait…what…the fuck.  OMG, I hate cops — any decent man putting on a badge to serve and protect would see that fucking a prostitute and then arresting her is the scummiest thing imaginable.

Goddamn it. Now some degenerate rotting turd is probably going to run off to Honolulu to join the vice squad so he can arrest the whores he has sex with — all because I expressed my disgust at the waste of resources spent on prostitution.


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