On Sex with Married Women

phone-behind-backI am writing this in part because a particular situation is pending.  So let’s talk about married women for a bit. Is it unethical for me to date a married woman? Let’s talk this one out a little. Did I ever promise not fuck anyone in particular? I don’t think so. In fact, I openly admit to not being very good at being monogamous.  So if I didn’t make any promises to do or not do anything, am I not a free agent who can do what I want?  This works pretty well with my polyamorous viewpoint.

Well, the key element here is the girl I am considering DID make just such a promise. She has no form of open marriage arrangement with her hubby and it seems pretty clearly understood that fucking people on the side is probably a no no.

My poly-mind has a lot of issues with this however because I honestly believe that humans are not and should not be monogamous. It’s a bullshit story sold to us by religion and it really does far more harm than god, er, *keeps typo* good.


It is quite hard to spell correctly. Shhhhhhhhhhh.

I not only believe that monogamy doesn’t work, I believe that monogamy is actively harmful and especially
repressive of women.  The happiest/sexiest girls I’ve met have all been poly…this can’t be a coincidence.  And of those who reject the polyamorous lifestyle…there’s always cheating. And cheating, you monogamous motherfuckers, is a weak-assed-way to do things.

That said,  I am not one to force my opinions on others. Specifically, I feel bad about this whole situation as there’s some guy out there — I know he’s out there — and his wife is going to cheat on him rather than be honest with him.  She’d already decided to cheat on him  and she’s going to do it no matter what — and the question is only: should I be the guy that she cheats with?

woman-logicI wish married women (or men) had the balls to actually man-up and say to their partner: I’m not being fulfilled sexually. I love you and want to continue this relationship but…I also need to get off. Look, if I have sex with someone new and exciting…I’ll bring that excitement back to our bedroom. You’ll get laid more and our sex will be better. (This is actually true: one sign that someone is cheating is a sudden increase in the amount of sex they have with their partner.)  Just because I want to have sex with someone else doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I don’t want to be with you. It means simply this: I ALSO want to have sex with other people.  And if you want to have sex with someone else, that too will be allowed.

(Side note: Some couples opt for swinging lifestyles where sex with others is allowed but emotional connection is not. This seems like utter bullshit to me as why-in-God’s-name-would-I-fuck-someone-I-have-no-connection-with?!?!?  However, if you’re up for that kind of crappy, strictly physical sex: go right ahead.)

So on sex with married women…it’s never easy.  It also feels like the girl could easily be ‘discovered’ which could suddenly end the relationship — which puts me in emotional jeopardy. Hell, it could easily put me in physical jeopardy too.  Sadly, I’ve had more than one fight with a jealous boyfriend and as such, I dislike ‘being the other guy’ as my preference is to lay it all out on the table and take everybody’s needs into account.

One final note: I just got a message from the specific married woman that I’m considering…and she just lasered her pussy completely bare for me. Damn…she knows exactly what Daddy likes: bare, completely hairless pussy without even a hint of stubble…damn… That. Is. So. Sexy.

I haven’t done anything…yet…but I’m tempted. But how much of this is actually my responsibility? I

have made no promises and I have even questioned her repeatedly toon-cheating force her to accept responsibility for her own actions. And…well, after making her look directly at her unfaithful heart: she still wants to go forward. This says very clearly to me that’s going to cheat no matter what…so I may as well get the benefits of her company, no?  (Obviously, I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t feel conflicted though. My concern is primarily for the guy in her life. I don’t want to hurt him. Yet his hurt is, well, inevitable. So perhaps the best course of action is to convince her to be upfront with him. Though that will take some time as she says he’s really close-minded and vanilla.)


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