Top 5 Best Condoms

kimono-condomSomething I wish I was taught in school is that not all condoms are created equal.  I’m gonna talk about good condoms and bad condoms and what makes them good or bad– and then give you my Top 5 Best Condoms List.  I’ll cover recognizing the good or bad ones (the easy way is to look at the pictures of the good ones!) And hopefully this will transform your experience because sex with a good condom is WAY better. I have personally used ever single condom I mention and many many others as well…I know my shit and I’m writing this so you can benefit.  And finally, I will also talk about lube. Lube is essential to use with condoms. If you are not using lube…things will either suck or not be nearly as good (and no, her vaginal lubrication might not be enough…even if she is a squirter. Yes, I said that right, girls who female ejaculate are not always squirting out the best lube as female ejaculate can be fairly watery.)

First off, let’s look at the bad condoms. What are bad condoms? Bad condoms come in 3 flavours: 1) The ones where you can’t feel shit. 2) Condoms that are prone to break/leak 3) Animal skin condoms that don’t actually stop a virus — because you gotta protect your junk!
Bad Condom Type 1: Too Thick
If a condom is too thick it deadens your sensation… perhaps to the point where you are unsure if you are inside her or to the point that maintaining an erection is difficult. This sucks, obviously. I always want to feel everything I can because the more I can feel, the better I perform. So how do you recognize these crappy condoms? They are most commonly ones that are being handed out in bowls when they give them out to students, sex workers and sex education tables.  But too thick means reduced sensation so just skip these. Specifically, the condoms that they hand out for free are often the WORST for feeling …they are thick and just plain terrible…and tend to look like this:


Bowls of condoms like these are uniformly awful

These condoms tend to be bullproof motherfucker that are meant to be kept forever by hopeful teens as well as used by sex workers wanting as much distance between their infected johns as possible. If you want to enjoy yourself…avoid at all costs. 

Bad Condom Type 2: Breaks or Leaks
Any condom that breaks or leaks is clearly not doing its job. What causes them to break is most commonly the fact that they are expired, abused or have had the wrong lube added to it.  Like I said earlier, female ejaculation (shejaculate) is not necessarily the best lube…but it will never destroy a condom. WARNING: Bad lube can also break your condoms. BAD lube is stuff like baby oil…oil based lube will actively break your condom so don’t fucking use them ever. I used it once and the condom broke in under 5 seconds! I shit you not. Never even have this stuff nearby.

Additionally, condoms that have been exposed to sunlight, that are past their expiry date or have been keep too long in a wallet (and looks abused) should be avoided because these are all weakened.

Bad Condom Type 3:  Animal Skin
Animal skin condoms are awful because they are just like our skin meaning that viruses and bacteria that we want the condoms to protect us from will pass right through the condom. So animal skin condoms won’t protect you from HIV, herpes or anything else…so animal skin condoms are just stupid and should never be used.Ok, let’s talk about good condoms. Specifically, the best condoms that I’ve used.  The best are all the thin, mirco-thin….basically the thinnest condoms you can get are always best because you can feel far more with them. And incase you are moron: sex is all about how things feel.

The best thing to do with a condom is put lube on it. Specifically, put some on the inside and the outside. I repeat: always use lube with condoms. Lube is awesome and even if she’s naturally we or even a female ejaculator (aka squirter) adding lube never hurts. But not having enough lube can really really suck.

WARNING: Some condoms come packed with a dry white powder on them. This powder will absorb liquid and her natural lubrication. If you try and fuck using such a unlubed condom…you will have way too much friction and her pussy will hate you forever.


The best in general are japanese condoms. There’s a lot of good quality ones. Such as Kimono and Crown. Now what makes the best condom? Let’s face it, the best condom is one you don’t notice is there. It shouldn’t have any weird flavor, glow in the dark, nor should you feel it and it certainly shouldn’t deaden then sensations of sex.  This is a tall order and the Japanese are the best at filling it. I’ve tried many many types due to the Condom Shack offering singles and there is a massive difference between the best and the rest. If you have any sort of sensitivity issue with condoms –it’s gonna cost you but think of it as making the difference between going through the motions and everyone really enjoying themselves!

KIMONO ULTRA THIN (or Micro thin)

kimono-condomKimono Ultra Thin and Micro Thin condoms are great. I’ve actually had to stop and double check it was on…just to be sure it didn’t break or anything…as it felt really good and natural. She thought it felt like it wasn’t there too. So, fuck yeah.  They are 50% thinner than Trojan’s Ultra Thin and that makes a huge difference. They also come in a large size so you don’t feel like your being stuffed into a punitive sized condom.

And ladies love them too because they don’t notice them either.

The downside is…they are pricey and kinda hard to find. Still, get them!


My second favorite condom is also Japanese. These babies rock. They are freakin’ thin and transmit feeling super well that they are the next best thing to bareback. They are super reliable too (I’ve never had a crown condom break) and they don’t have any funny smells or taste. Overall…these are really great condoms.

I have also noticed them use these in porn…because pornstars know about this kind of stuff too!


beyond-seven-condomAgain, Japanese condom …very thin and feels like nothing is there. My only issue with these is…they are a bit small. I’m pretty thick and these…well, they seem better for guys with thinner cocks — so these were a little uncomfortable for me but a buddy of mine swears by them so I’m putting them on this list.


These babies are super thin. Perhaps the thinnest condom on the market and yet very reliable. Again, a Japanese company makes these and, well, of all the condoms I’ve tried the Japanese always come out on top.


The only non-Japanese condom on my top 5 list. These were top rated by Consumer Reports for reliability and they are also the best option if the best Japanese condoms are not available. Yeah, these are way easier to find (most pharmacies have them) and they also cost significantly less than the Japanese condoms.  If you want a very good condom that you can feel almost everything but cost is an issue… get these. They still beat the hell out of almost every other condom on the market.

I did a post about female condoms here.  Basically, these


The Best Female Condom: warm and feels good

feel fucking great too. The polypropylene transfers
heat so it feels natural and since it’s in her…you can side in and out with great feeling. There’s nothing better for a 3-some with 2 girls (you can switch between girls as often as you wish) but the down sides are: they are usually $3 each, they look weird sticking out of her and my partners have been equally unthrilled with the decrease in sensation as I was with the increase. So if she’s not a fan…that’s gonna be an issue (but I still love how they feel!)

The best place for condoms that I know of is the Condom Shack (on Queen St. in Toronto). They also sell singles so you can try out lots of different types instead of getting stuck with a box at a time. However, the cheapest place I know of to get condoms is online at Undercover Condoms. But the issue I have is waiting for them to arrive vs. being able to use them right away.


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