I just looked into the amendment that the Brits put forward last year (early this year?) to alter their 2003 Communications Act and found that it fucking passed on December 2nd!! The new Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 now puts all ‘video on demand online pornography’ (aka any porn videos from the web!) under the same strict rules inflicted by prudish British twits on DVD sales in that nation. So any porn produced in the UK must adhere to these insane, draconian rules which include a ban on female ejaculation!!
I am (almost) too outraged for words! How in the fuck can you ban female ejaculation? And what kind of sexist bullshit is this that a man can squirt his cum all over a girl’s face/ass/pussy/tits/feet/you-get-the-picture and women aren’t allowed to cum on film? Are you fucking kidding me???
I say this again and no, it’s not a joke: the UK banned squirting from their porn!
Shall we start enforcing female circumcision at birth too? You goddamn stupid motherfuckers!!
First off, this shit has got to be taken down. Surely the British have some form of Equality Legislation or a Charter of Human Rights that this explicitly violates. I am not in Britain but if this Jupiter-sized-load-of-shit was in Canada I would personally campaign against it and lead the charge and make a constitutional challenge or whatever is most appropriate to eliminate legislation so blatantly anti-female that I am surprised women in Britain still have the vote.
Squirting or female ejaculation is a common type of female orgasm and as such should be encouraged by law and taught in school — not banned by some Victorian era nitwit who wears mormon underwear to help save them from masturbating.
Whoever voted ‘yes’ to pass this law should be punished by placing them at ground zero in a female ejaculation bukkake. (I will test out this punishment first, just to be sure it is not too dangerous. Safety first.)
Here is the list of stuff the prudes banned:
Female Ejaculation (so mad still! wtf!! So women have the skene’s glands but are not supposed to use them? Please dear, no orgasms on camera…this is porn after all. And for god’s sakes no squirting orgasm during anal sex or we’ll have to reshoot the entire scene!!)
Humiliaton (as a former Torontonian, Rob Ford made it a way of life in our city…I can’t see anything wrong with this either.)
Fisting (because…consenting lesbians never ever fist each other?? Why are they trying to stop girls from having fun?? This one makes me nuts too!! Is this specifically to target gay porn makers and discourage girls from making others girls cums?? *fists a law-maker in the ass*)
Facesitting (yet again, why oh why?!? The very British Monty Python even sang about it! Is it that some Dommes could do it and enjoy it? I am seriously perplexed.
Spanking (because no consenting adults *ever* do this!! OMFG, Does this mean they will ban Monty Python’s the Holy Grail??!?)
Aggressive whipping (spanking is out but a light whipping is fine?? Makes perfect sense.)
Caning (they forgot to ban hitting people with fish — I defer again to Monty Python because these laws are such a joke)
Urolagnia (aka Water Sports) (there is little or no health risks from this activity, contrary to popular belief, urine is sterile and can be used to cleanse wounds…so that’s not it… ooooh!! It might remind people of female ejaculation! Or a girl might enjoy it! Yup, ban it!!!)
Role-playing as non-adults (oh come the fuck on!! Seriously? You are gonna ban age play too! Of course you are. Missionary position is the only position! Just lie back and think of England for fucks sakes.)
Physical or verbal abuse (Come on now you fucking stupid cunts! Oh wait, sorry, that’s banned too.)
Penetration by an object ‘associated with violence’ (so don’t have your male lead dress as a cop! And Grand Theft Auto V videogames can never be used for penetration.)
Physical restraints (where to begin…how many movies and TV shows show someone physically restrained? But add in sex — the most natural thing in the world and *pop* BANNED)
Strangulation (well, I can see this one as it could potentially kill someone… so 1 out of 13. FAIL! If you got 7% on a test in school, how would you feel? Like you knew absolutely nothing on the subject?)
I expect this shit -er, law — to be overturned promptly as female ejaculation, female orgasms and female pleasure are what make life worth living. Then again, the fucked up state of affairs in government probably means they will just add things to the list and start handing out jail time for those caught with the offending materials. I know! Let’s start a war on porn and model it on the incredibly successful war on drugs!!! Fuck. My. Life.