Can IUDs Stop Your Period?


Y-IUD: Not pokey and way better than copper (yeah, crappy copper can make you bleed more, not less)

IUDs….the best kept secret in birth control. They tell you they aren’t safe and only work as birth control for women who have already had a baby. This is complete bullshit.   The truth is: IUDs are completely safe for teenagers and anyone regardless if they have been pregnant or not.  IUD or intrauterine devices are being used by over 150 million women worldwide and doctors have found that teens don’t have any more problems with them than anyone else. In fact, fuck heavy bleeding, they are far more likely to majorly reduce cramps and menstrual bleeding.  In fact, there are a whole lot of reasons I’m gonna discuss why you should be using an IUD.

A poll of American gynecologists found that they were 3 times more likely to prescribe IUDs than family doctors. Now why would that be? Because IUDs are simply inserted and start working immediately — you don’t have to remember to take a pill every day nor fill your body with hormones for them to be effective. And if you remove the device you can become pregnant that day.

So why are IUDs not used more often? The answer is sadly simple: money.  IUDs are incredibly cheap.  They cost around $80-$150 here in Canada and once inserted, they last from 3-5 years officially but remember that big pharma still wants to make a buck and I’ve read from the Chinese sites (they have an interest in low cost due to their 1 child program) that IUDs are effective for over 10 years.   In contrast, the birth control pill produced by the pharmaceutical industry costs between $25 and $50 a month (and is a giant ‘did I remember to take my pill today’ pain in the ass).  Let’s do the math. After 5 years, a $50 birth control prescription costs $3000…most of that profit for the drug company.  After 5 years, the IUD still has a total cost of $80.  Or $2920 less.


Round IUDs: Effective & Less Pokey

Insertion by a doctor will cost you but that depends entirely on where you live. An IUD plus insertion cost $200 total for the last girl I talked to.  It takes about 4 minutes for a doctor to put it in so if you pay him $200 to do this you’re being juiced for $50/minute.  Even lawyers would balk at charging a rate of $3000/hr.  But it’s for 5+ years (IUDs are still effective well after their ‘expiry date’ because it’s not like they dissolve and disappear or anything.)  Anyway, like I said, the $200 included the IUD itself the insertion was only something like $80.  (Also see below for more cost savings)

Now for the kicker. If saving $3000 and never having to think about birth control aren’t enough…how about IUDs stopping your period entirely?  You fucking read that right. IUDs can STOP YOUR PERIOD.   Hormonal IUDs reduce your period by an average of 90% (as in way less bleeding and say goodbye to cramps) — but in many women it also stops the period entirely.  And this stopping of the period is in no way harmful nor does it reduce your future fertility.  How many women have their period stop? That depends on the exact IUD that’s inserted but the popular Mirena had, “up to 70% of patients will stop having their periods within 2 years.” Yeah, and most of the rest just get drastically reduced bleeding…so even if you don’t win completely, you still win! Also think of how much you will save on tampons, new-fucking-underwear and extra time not spent cleaning your sheets.

Now, if your guy (or girl) is really into menstruation porn, you might want to consider other forms of birth control…but I’m inclined to tell him that’s he’s going to have to make some sacrifices too.

Here’s the cost savings by my measure:  Tampons -$7/box.  Midol for pain relief -$7/bottle,  New panties  -$20.    Abortions (yeah, 1 in 3 women have had an abortion so…) -$400 to -$1500 per time.

Oh, and they also stop cervical cancer.   In 26 studies in 2011 alone, women using IUDs were 50% less likely to get cervical cancer.  Apparently the IUD triggers an immune response which fights HPV….so there’s that too.  The Annals of Oncology also published a study where IUDs were used as a treatment for endometrial cancer.  27 out of 34 women ended up cancer-free after a year with 9 going on to get pregnant (This is amazing as the normal treatment for endometrial cancer is a hysterectomy.)

They don’t cause abortions.  If you are religiously inclined and think you’re ‘killing a fertilized egg’ well, you’re not.  IUDs mostly work by killing the sperm before it gets to the egg and also creating a thick mucous barrier in your hoo hoo that stops the sperm from getting to the egg. Also, hormonal IUDs also prevent ovulation so you don’t release an egg to begin with. So abortions are not happening because they prevent pregnancy just like every other kind of birth control.  Of course, if you object to birth control then I won’t judge you because your life will already be punishing you enough with 10 babies.

How about preventing pregnancy.  After all, the reason you use birth control is to stop you from pooping out rugrats. Ok, technically it’s far worse for you pussy than pooping but you get the idea.   So the birth control pill works about 92% of the time. Yeah, lots and lots of people get pregnant on the pill…because 8% is a massive fucking gap between the goalposts for sperm to squeeze through. But that’s still better than condoms with 85% (yup…15% of those filled with manbutter get filled with screaming baby as well.) These are the practical rates from those using the pill and condoms vs the theoretical effectiveness (condoms are theoretically 98% effective so the theory is 13% higher than reality…but considering the downside, I’d say keep looking. So how do IUDs stack up?  The practical contraception rate for women using IUDs is between 99.2% and 99.9%  so…fucking brilliant.  Put mathematically: IUDs are between 1800% and 15000% more effective than condoms and 1000%-8000% more effective than the pill. So let’s just say, “Way fucking better.”

Here’s the cost savings by my measure:  Abortions (yeah, 1 in 3 women have had an abortion so…)     -$400 to -$1500 per time.  Cost saved by not raising a child -$300 000.

Of course, some women argue that having a foreign object inside of you is ‘weird’ but I’d also consider a little alien baby growing inside of you as a ‘weird foreign object’ but the IUD will cost you infinitely less.

Now the scary part:

The comments to this video are kinda scary but I’ve talked with 4 girls who’ve had IUDs inserted and they all said it kinda sucked for about 30 seconds and then it was fine again, The worst part? Being advised that you should refrain from sex for a 10 days after insertion when another girl said her doctor told her should could have sex right away…which is correct. 😉

Leave a Reply