I recently saw Stephen Colbert mention that 49% of adult Americans believe that sex with robots will become commonplace in the next 50 years — and I decided it was time to dig out this draft blog post I started way back in 2014. First off, sex with robots is happening today but the frequency is extremely low because the robots are so damn creepy. And the creepiness deserves a closer look — as this will be the biggest factor inhibiting sex with robots. Don’t worry, sex with robots will happen…just not how you think! At the end of this article, I will explain exactly how sex robots are going to take the world by storm — and not in 50 years or even 20 years but in the next few years.
The Uncanny Valley (Terror from Human-like sex toys)
Ok, you probably don’t believe sex with robots will common anytime soon because of what scientists have labeled ‘the uncanny valley’. The uncanny valley is based on a graph that robot scientists discovered on how much humans like robots. It goes something like this: Humans like robots more if they are a bit humanoid and this increases until the robot becomes fairly human looking — and then terror sets in and people hate them! So the graph sees a major drop not just to dislike but to fear and terror as the robots get ‘close to human’. People only like the robot again if it is extremely human in appearance. See the graph below:
The closer the robot is to human but appearing slightly imperfect causes most people to have fear and a severe distrust of this uncanny, weird alien/unnatural/ill creature. This is why most medical robots don’t try to appear at all human or close to human.
So how does this affect the sex-robot industry? If robots have to appear nearly perfectly indistinguishable from real humans, then the bar is set so high that the robots themselves will cost $100 000 or more to get it right. This clearly is outside the budget of most people for a slam piece toy. There is just no way anyone would pay that, even if they robot builders could get it right — and they can’t at present! Worse, any inferior models working towards that human perfection will still be ultra expensive yet will invoke sheer terror in their victims! So the way to get to a perfect robot creates products that people not only won’t fuck but they will want to see them burn them on their front lawn to be sure they are dead.
It doesn’t matter how skilled or good the robot vibrates, the inability to get through the uncanny valley will be the ultimate downfall of human-like sex robots. The unreasonably high cost of robot that looks as sexy as a real human will be astronomical and also you are stuck with that exact robot forever — no changes.
So how will sex robots ever work?
The Unexpected Truth About Sex Robots
The way the uncanny valley will be sidestepped with sex robots is surprisingly simple: Virtual Reality. By putting on
a pair of virtual reality goggles that are perfectly synched to the robot’s movements and physical location in the real world, the sex robot of the future doesn’t have to look anything like a human at all. Instead, the sex robot just has to ‘feel human’ as real women or men are viewed in virtual reality glasses. This will allow robot makers the ability to focus on making great feeling robots that are synched to images of real people.
To the user, it will look exactly like you are fucking the actual person of your dreams…and you will be able to touch and feel them too. Think of the ultimate porn video where you get to shag the girl of your dreams but you can maneuver around her in real life. Hell, you could make the glasses so they show you the real world (your house) exactly as it appears with the only difference being the robot likes exactly like a beautiful naked person!
Additionally, the robot will have the ability to wear whatever clothes you want, changing clothes instantly and for free without the hindrance of having to actually buy clothes for your sex robot.
But changing clothes is just the tip of the iceberg. Of course, you sex robot will be able to easily change ‘physical shape’ to any male or female appearance you desire! Since the physical appearance is a projected image within the VR glasses, changing between a black haired latina and pale skinned red-head will be as simple as it is to load a new porn video on the internet today.
The Sex Will Be Mind-Blowing!
The sex that sex robots will offer will be absolutely outstanding because of AI and the robot’s ability to learn — and it will learn, not only from you but from all the sex robots out there. The AI will not only be able to tailor itself to the moves that turn you on the most, but those moves can be uploaded and improved upon at a centralized database that gathers information about what everybody likes! Think of it as gaining a partner that not only gains 1 year of experience with you, but if there are 100 000 robots out there it gains 100 000 years of experience at sex each year! Basically, these robots are going to get absolutely amazing at fucking!
The sex robots could be equipped with sensors that measure heart-rate, perspiration, blood-pressure, pupil dilation (easy within the VR glasses) and any number of other physical factors to determine just how ‘effectively’ it is turning you on. I guess it measuring the ‘strength’ of your erection or slipperiness of your vaginal lube is completely in the realm of possibility too.
Talk Dirty to Me
The mind is one of the most erotic areas of human beings — and imagine a sex robot equipped with AI that learns how to talk dirty to you with the experience of 100 000 years of talking dirty to people. The robot will not only be the best dirty talker the planet has ever seen but will tailor the dirty talk perfectly to all of your deepest fantasies. It can use a library of sentences that have works best on hundreds of thousands of other individuals — and it can be trained initially by uploading every erotic novel ever printed.
The Sex Robots of the Future
The sex robots of the future are almost here. VR glasses are here now. Robots are here now. AI that learns and links the knowledge acquired from other AIs is here. Massive amounts of porn is here. All that needs to happen is combining these elements into a fully functioning sex robot.
The sex robots made utilizing VR technology will initially cost between $10 000 and $20 000 but that cost will fall rapidly as more people adopt the technology, the sex robots get better and the cost of VR plummets. Soon a good sex robot will be in the $1000 price range…but unlike the creepy sex dolls that can be bought for $1000, these will be so amazingly good at sex that people will be telling their friends, ‘Fuck taking a vacation, get one of these robots! You need one now!”
There will be some issues that result from the massive and sudden boom in sex robots:
- Will your partner consider it cheating?
- How do you clean your sex robot?
- Will you ever share your sex robot with a friend?
- If the robots use AI and become absolute masters of human sexuality, will people stop having sex with other people? (I doubt it, but the rate of human reproduction will surely take a hit.)