Why Couples Should Watch Porn Together (During Sex)

girl-watching-pornI have heard a number of (usually church-based) reasons why men should never use porn…basically all of them have been disproved scientifically but people love to feel guilty so these memes are freely passed around.

The truth is, porn tends to improve your sex life and makes you a better, more adventurous lover. Porn tends to make people less shy and self-conscious about their bodies (exactly the opposite of most shaming claims). And frequent masturbators don’t all suffer from erectile dysfunction from the frequent exercise – jeez! By that logic, weight-lifters wouldn’t be able to lift anything outside of the gym and runners wouldn’t be able to walk around!! There is some seriously stupid stuff out there.

Anyhow, watching porn together as a couple has a number of great benefits that you should consider:

1. Porn is often a ‘dirty secret’ that we don’t share with anyone – so sharing your porn can be freeing and also quickly builds trust between partners

2. Watching porn together allows you to freely explore fantasies together – and is one of the best ways to facilitate conversations about what you truly desire in bed. Often people are too shy to tell their partners what they want — but it is super easy to just point to a video and say, “I want you to do that.” Additionally, the graphic medium means it’s way harder to misinterpret what they mean!

3. Watching porn together, especially looking at pictures together, allows couples to talk dirty to each other in a very creative and yet visual way. A lover could say, “See that girl, I want to see you pull down her panties and stick your tongue deep in her butt.” Couples who practice talking dirty to each other about the porn they are watching often co-create fantasies and scenarios that turn them both on – and this creativity together, especially around something as powerful as sex, forms a strong bond between the partners.

4. Watching porn gets couples out of boring patterns: couples that do it in the same position and in the same way

all the time can find new positions to explore after being inspired by porn. Even if you stick with the ‘same-old’ positions (because they feel great and work) – the porn adds significant variety to the experience. There are new sights and ‘people’ involved and well, there is an unlimited number of porn videos and photos to watch that you will never ever run out of new material to explore together!

5. Watching porn is free! Sex is free! There are few activities a young couple can engage in that has virtually no cost: you do it as often as you like and it will only bring you closer together.

6. Watching porn together will boost both of your libidos. I know there is an old-wives-tale that women are not turned on by porn or visual stuff…which is why they print romance novels for women and porn magazines for men…but that’s basically bullshit. Study after study of looking at the excitation in women’s brains when exposed to porn has shown they are a lot more sensitive to porn than men. In fact, women can achieve the same level of arousal from a brief glimpse of porn that takes men a considerable number of seconds of staring to achieve. So women, if anything, are more hardwired to porn arousal than men.

7. Using porn together encourages the girl to masturbate. I know, this point is not exactly straightforward but hear me out. Boys are conditioned and told about masturbation from an early age and I would say it is pretty my accepted that all boys do it. Women, however, have tended to be (historically – these trends are changing rapidly) much less likely to masturbate – to their great detriment.

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