I recently wrote some posts on what I desire from my slave, Kitten and I will post those pretty soon. For now, however, I will turn my attention to a very special girl in my life, Pumpkin.
First off, what I want most for Pumpkin is for her to lose her self-consciousness and horrible body image that she holds for herself. I want her to feel comfortable and confident in her own skin and love her body fully. Then I want her to share that body with me, using her entire heart.
We are working together on this and are going on a trip to Peru which will hopefully make enormous progress on that front.
I have some obvious issues too that I wish to address in Peru. But before we get there, I want to lay out what I desire, especially since I have been feeling a bit off lately and I am seeking balance and connection with my beloved Pumpkin.
But before we get to Peru, I would love for her to see herself as sexy goddess who turns me on like no other. I want her to use her powers joyously, so she has fun with it and knowing how much pleasures she can give me. I do cum so much harder when she is around. Specifically, when I am with her, I feel free to give up my mental self-doubts and deeply ingrained guilt about my sexual lusts. As she encourages me to be a pervert, I just relax into it and feel loved and appreciated for my perversions. I don’t think about how I should not be thinking about such things… Instead I dive into it as she makes me feel like that is what she wants and needs from me.
And feeling like what I am, what I want and what I desire are what she wants… It is the best feeling in world. I let go of all my worries and inhabitions and, when I am with her, I relax and feel accepted. Hell, I not only feel accepted, but I feel like what I Want is also what she wants! I bond with her on a deep level, feeling that she wants me to be fully who I am! Instead of holding back and feeling bad about my perverted desires, she makes me feel like I need to embrace them. More than that, she wants me to be that way for her – that she wants me to show myself to her, to reveal my true colors to her so that she can truly see the true me. Not the me that I project for others to be socially accepted. No, she has no interest in the fake me that I project. No. She wants to know the depths of my depravity and she is turned on by just how much of a pervert I am. When I connect with her, I feel like she wants me show her exactly who I am, without any filters whatsoever.
The above being the case, I am so turned on by Pumpkin it is nuts! And it feels like I cum 10x harder with her than by myself. I want to fuck her all the damn time.
WHAT I WANT FROM MY PUMPKIN
So what do I want from Pumpkin? To feel like she wants to fuck me all the time too. I want to fuck her so much I don’t know what to do with myself. I have such a high sex drive that I worry about wearing out my partners. And their pussies. So it feels like Christmas when a girl lusts for cum and the drive for more sex comes from her instead of always from me.
So what I would like from Pumpkin is for her to lust after my cum and be genuinely enthusiastic and eager to make me cum more.
She can put on hot, firm bodies in the 18 to 27 year old range… Nice young girls that she is eager to have me look at. She could have me imagine that I am fucking the girls that I am looking at while I fuck her… And she enthusiastically ensures that I fuck her because she wants me to cum in her.
I would just adore it if, while we are sitting on the couch in the living room, if she said, “Daddy, I need you to fuck me now. I know you need to cum lots so you have to cum in me.”
At least a couple of times a week, I would love it if she decided that, as soon as I came in her, that I should immediately cum again for a different girl. “Daddy, you have to fuck this girl now because she has been waiting for you to cum so she can get a turn. I need to know that you like her by cumming for her right away. Please Daddy, fuck her for me now. I need to see your cock stay hard so I know you like her for sure!”
If I have a day off, Pumpkin should put on a suitable girl and ask me to stroke my cock to her, but not cum. After 15 minutes or so, she could come in and change the girl, begging me to fuck her next but not cum with her either. She could do this several times so I am hard, hot and bothered for more than an hour before putting on a very young and fit girl for me to fuck her to until I shoot my load in Pumpkin’s sweet pussy.
I would love it for her to encourage me to be the full on pervert that I am. I know that she enjoys watching some of the hardcore porn videos I introduced her to and having her add her own spin to those, telling me how much she loves watching these things and would love to see a young and inexperienced 19 year old doing all those things as she wants me to watch all the videos she’s downloaded just to know I am watching the best and hottest things. (It would not matter at all if she’d actually downloaded anything to watch, it is her desire to share and direct my perverted attentions that is key. It makes it so instead of enjoying porn as a solitary thing, she is sharing ‘her’ porn preferences with me as she wants me to lust for the things that she lusts after. So I associate all those things with her.
After I cum to a video that she likes, she still won’t be satisfied as she is worried that I will lust for porn videos too much and not like the girls in pictures… So, with her little girl ageplay energy, she insists that if I cum for a video that I must balance that out with cumming for a picture set too.
I could also see her helping me with sex and cumming as I can easily become consumed by it. If left to my own devices, I would prefer to fap all day, for 4-5 hours and cum 8 times a day, everyday. Obviously, that is not good for a life balance and would not be ideal from a practical perspective. But having her help me cum 2 or 3 times every few days, whenever she needs it… Would be delightful. And every once in a while, when she is extra-horny, she could have a ton of fun asking for lots and lots of cum on a day we both have off but I have absolutely no expectations whatsoever. She would not even mention that she is planning on asking for lots of cum, instead just asking for a single orgasm and then one immediately afterwards… A short break and then giving me a sly grin and saying, “oh Daddy, my friend just CME over and it would be so hot to see you fuck her.” And this could continue as many times as she wants, knowing that I would never refuse her an orgasm ever because I love my little girl so much!
On such a day, her begging for more and insisting that I give her next friend some cum too, even though she can see I am sexually exhausted… Mmmm, so hot. I especially like the idea of her doing that without voicing any long term plan so I don’t know if this will be my last orgasm of the day or if she is going to ask for 6 more.
Days with many multiple orgasms probably won’t be that common. But far more common would be her asking for back to back orgasms. Either asking me to cum and then fuck her or insisting that since I came to a video I should prove that like her picture friends too. “Daddy, I need to know that you can cum right away again, so when we get a nice fun girl to play with, I know that I can ask you to cum and keep fucking her and you will have had lots of practice with that so it’s easy for you!”
I think the most important element in this is: she is the driving force and desire for additional orgasms. I know that I can be super intense and consumed with sex… Wanting to fuck and play all day without a break – to the point where my partner is exhausted and concerned that I still want more. So turning the tables on this, so I am simply playing along with a horny girl and helping her get off because she needs it… That’s what I need most.
Additionally, her being very involved in the selection of girls, making sure I focus on the girls are ones she has chosen. It makes it seem a lot less like me lusting after other any other girls and instead, my lusts being directed by her so she is deeply involved in my sexual preferences… So much so that it feels like cheating on her if I look at any girls that she would not approve of. That way, she is always in my thoughts and connected to my deepest sexual being.
And there is no one I would trust more with handling my considerable sexual energies than my beloved Pumpkin. She rejoices in my perversions and doesn’t judge me at all. I love that she finds it sexy that I love such deviant things. She also knows how often I need to cum. How much I desire to fuck her (ok, she sometimes gets into her own head and thinks I don’t want to fuck her at all, but she is crazy in her own head sometimes.) Finnaly, Pumpkin also can help me not get too lost in it all and keep me from being consumed by it. If I am not the driving force behind it then I am not the who eventually has to put on the brakes to stop. I would not have to worry about braking at all as, instead of trying to brake and hold back all the time, I would simply be free to GO whenever the opportunity comes.
This is doubly true knowing that there is a potentially life-changing trip to Peru coming up which could change my relationship to sex forever… And that is scary for me. Because of that, I want to indulge all the more, “while I still can” and so it feels much safer to me to give the reins over to her for a bit.