This is an excerpt from my journal. My new little daughter has gone off to school. Interesting times ahead.
I really really hope that Ladybug not talking much… Isn’t her pulling away from me. Or some guy at school swooping in and gaining her favor while I patiently sit back and let it happen…
This next few weeks is going to be pretty intense for me. I am preparing for a powerful spiritual retreat in Peru and it requires that I purify myself as much as possible.
My diet is going to involve a bunch of fasting for starters. There shall be no meat nor animal products – not really a big change as a vegan… Except I really haven’t been super strict as a vegan because animal products are in everything. So I will now be very strict and not have any animal products at all (bye bye creams and any bready stuff). Additionally, I am cutting out caffeine (that is gonna hurt!) and sugar (which is in everything!) I am not going to eat chips nor anything salty either. So yeah, this will take some mindfulness to accomplish and my diet it going to be much more bland.
I will also be doing regular, daily meditation and connecting more with my energy body.
Pumpkin is also on board with this plan… But she has really been struggling lately. She is pushing back a lot, especially with the mental lessons that she has accepted before… It is like her vibration is dropping and she is resisting more and more… She doesn’t see it, but her increased struggles are directly related to this.
I am looking forward to working with my little ladybug on mental stuff because I get the sense she will just ‘get it’ a lot more than pumpkin and also she won’t actively fight back.
That being said, Ladybug also sent messages about her smoking and drinking lots of pop… Which is not ideal to say the least. This is a result of her vibration of course… And a drop in that as she is reacting to the stress of school… But I think a large portion of the stress is self-inflicted.
But telling her that will only cause more push back… Like Pumpkin… I tell her stuff that will actively help her… And she got angry at me yesterday. Actually, Pumpkin issued a challenge saying, “if this is so easy, why don’t you transform your body to great abs and a strong chest” and “you say you can do with with thought but it isn’t working for you!” – throwing that in my face like an “ah ha gotcha.” Part of me wanted to throw her over my knee and spank her. I told her, the truth is, I have not been putting any regular thought into that at all. Which is true. But now I have a challenge, so I will prove it to her (da stupid bitch! Part of the reason I haven’t worked more on it is her and as she would be unable to deal with that and it would make her feel more self-conscious… But she requested it so… It works perfectly with my plan and with meditating so fine.)
Jeezsus, it is all fractal, as Kitten is kind of out of sorts as well. When it rains, it pours! I wonder if there is something seriously out of sorts with myself that I am unaware of?? I feel solid and strong… But if the 3 girls are unbalanced, I am probably out of balance too…
I will have to meditate on this today, so I can strengthen myself and be a strong tugboat that can hopefully tow their ships to calmer waters.
My main focus at the moment is preparing for the spiritual retreat however… As this is a wonderful and transformative opportunity. There will be a couple of very wise and powerful shamans from the Amazon Rainforest there… And I have a list of intentions that I want to achieve there. Working with them… I am certain I will explore the invisible dimensions of the universe and learn more about how the universe works… How to flow with it… And how to connect with God.